4.12 A.M. Pretending.

This isn't normally my blogging style..
But i'm allowed to vent right?
This IS my blog after all?
I don't know where i'm headed anymore..
It honestly feels like a downward spiral to nowhere!

I keep advising people.. saying things will get better..
but I am finding it hard to convince myself to believe the same..

will I be another victim of the system?

I can't quit..
I won't quit..
I just wan't time..

Dolphin Shark or Tuna?
who am I?
Who are you Ms. 4AM Blogger?

Dear Reader..
I've reached my breaking point..

4.11 A.M. The Valentine Jerk.

Dear Reader,

I hope Valentines day was pleasant for you.
For Me .. it was just like any other day..
Started off with Life Drawing where my lecturer apologized for being hard on us (aww how can you be mad at someone for being sweet enough to apologize???)
Then went on to Photography class.. where my Photo's were all accepted .. FINALLY WOOT and we were given this new assignment to capture color in photography .. (yes DUH all photographs are in color but that's not the kind of color i'm talking about)

ANYWAY .. so what possibly could have gone wrong you ask?
what made me title this post as is?

well .. here's the story..


So after class I went across the street to the mall (yes .. the mall is across the street .. literally .. how cool is that right!?)
to check if my Canon 60D shipment was in (whom I have already named Cameron .. cute name right?) but it wasn't ...
anyway .. after that I waited for a bit at the main entrance in my usual spot waiting for my dad to come pick me up.. listening to my Mp3 player .. super massively loud like I always do.. chilling out on the stairs .. playing Angry Birds on my phone ..

but then my phone battery went flat ..
so I started people watching..

Now if you know Sunway Pyramid .. you would know there is this guy that receives people as they get out of cars .. like he's literally helped me open the car door a number of times and closed it for me before .. He's a really nice guy ..(from here on I'll refer to him a "TIM" I don't actually know his name but "TIM" should work)
but he looks like there may be something .. not right about him .. I don't mean this in a Mean way .. but he seems slightly mentally challenged in some way .. he's never caused a scene with anyone or anything.. he just is different..

So I sat there on the steps watching as this black Hyundai Santa Fe pulled up.. and out came this Caucasian man with sandy brown hair looking all nice and tanned (From here on I'll call him "THE JERK" and I genuinely thought to myself .. "oo .. eye candy" ..

Apparently he was picking someone up from the mall..
So he got out and opened the boot up for them to put their bags in..
So "TIM" as part of his job walked up to the back of the car to help "THE JERK" close it.. and all "TIM" did was touch the door..

now I don't exactly know what was said .. but trust me .. It seemed bad..

"THE JERK" pushed "TIM's" hand off the door .. and had this rude expression on his face and was like telling him these things need to be done "delicately" or something .. at least that was what I had understood from the body hand gestures...

He then just walked away .. leaving "TIM" bewildered.. got into his car and started making these rude faces at whoever was in the car and pointed at "TIM"


now at this point 2 things ran through my mind..
1) ok EW you are SOOOO not hot anymore ...

and 2) I have some fancy hand gestures to show you too Mr Jerk! .. It involves a finger..


TIM stood there for a whole minute .. as cars just dropped people off right in front of him .. which he didn't open the doors for.. and then just went M.I.A..

I mean seriously .. i cannot stand arrogant good looking ... assh*les!
YOU are not that perfect!
YOU do not have the right to treat other's that way!
YOU are not above us in any way!
seriously dude .. WTF!?

I hope someone SERIOUSLY scratched your car ..

like this huge scratch that you can't polish off ..

You will HAVE to get a paint job ..


Dear Reader,
Promise me you'll treat other people as you would wish to be treated yourself??

Goodnight Dear Reader.

4.10 A.M. A Thank You Note, A Moment of Pride and A Lesson in Ethics..

Dear Reader,
As you .. may .. or may not know.. I can sometimes have a severely slow grasp on things.. Most recently I've found myself paddling to save my life in the giant lake that is 3D Maya Essentials.
It's not that I'm completely dumb at it, I just have to be SHOWED the steps once or twice before i COMPLETELY understand.
So I really appreciate all the help I get, from everyone, seriously Thank you.. I don't think I say that enough. If you have ever helped me, directly, or indirectly Thank You.. for putting up with my endless questions :)


My first Maya Moment of Pride arrived this morning.. or .. rather yesterday morning, when I entered class and my friends asked how i had modeled my Tank Tracks, (we're supposed to model construction/army vehicles for our project). So apparently modeling Tank Tracks is incredibly temperamental... so I was keeping my tracks till the very end... I had experimented with the method (learned of course from a very good friend who was kind enough to upload a bunch of tutorial pictures for me online: Again .. Thank You!) so I did have an idea on how to get the tank tracks done right.. So i took my laptop, sat down, and explained the steps to 2 of my friends.. of course there was a Lil mistake along the way but i figured it out and explained it to my friends which made me feel a Lil smarter :D.. so yes, I take pride in knowing I'm not that dumb, and for my friends who have helped me? Do take pride in this Lil achievement too, cause you helped *winks*

OK so the next bit is going to be a Lil edgy..

Dear Waiter @ The Restaurant,
First of all, I would like to say that you, are one hell of a lucky bugger cause the restaurant you work at.. actually serves decent to good food. OTHERWISE I probably would have thrown a bitch fit and walked on right out of there. ANYWAY, the other day I walked into the restaurant wanting to buy take out lunch for my mom and I. You took my order asking how I was, cause I used to frequent the restaurant and I hadn't come by in a while..

Here's when you started pissing me off...
1) After I was nice enough to answer you, YOU tell me I'm fat.. dude .. where'd that come from? I KNOW i'm fat.. You don't have to rub it in.. would you like it if i told you that putting henna on your fingers is just GAY!? yeah .. don't think I didn't notice..

2) You go away and come back 2 minutes later .. only to say I'm fat again .. DUDE .. SERIOUSLY .. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

and then .. here's the cherry on top of it all..

3) You approach me after insulting me TWICE.. and then you say .. "Oh we got you're order's mixed up.. so um .. could you wait a while more?"

Oh yeah .. sure .. insult me then expect me to be polite AND patient with you... you're LUCKY i was tired and I just wanted to get home .. cause I swear I would've done something..

I know i'm bigger than average.. and quite honestly.. I don't wanna be this way.. but I am .. it is none of your business .. so why don't you just leave me alone?






Dear Reader.. I almost cried...

Goodnight

4.09 A.M. Confessions of A Dimwit.

So if you are an ardent follower of my blog.. you would have noticed that my blog hasn't been updated in.. Quite a while..
I have a valid reason for my blog temporarily dying this time.
It was simply because Blogspot.com stopped allowing me to log in with my username..
so .. i was dumb enough to not think of using my email address to log in instantly..
took me some time.. and a friend to ask me if i still blogged for me to retry logging in.. and what d'ya know? it worked!

So here I am, at exactly 4.18 A.M. on my first day of my Chinese New Year break..
Blogging my heart out about things that matter the most to me.

One of the few things I have to talk about is the start of my 2nd Academic year at TOA.
I have actually begun classes related to my Major this time.. which is fun.. most of it at least.. except 2 of my 6 classes that make me feel like my soul is being sucked out of my ear by a mysterious force when i'm in it..

But.. of course.. the start of my new academic year also very simply measures up to one more thing.. the death of my social calendar..

Since starting Year 2 of my 3 year diploma course I have experienced severe lack of sleep, resulting in eye bags that even make up can't aid..

Julian explained that life will get better in year 3.. IF ... I make it out of year 2 alive ... gee thanks for the note of confidence Julian.. you remind me of King Julien from Madagascar by the way.. Maybe it's just the name .. not sure .. but .. "I like to move it move it"

On OTHER interesting news.. I have officially broken the habit of slamming my phone into the ground (that lil trick gave me an A for Drama Class thank you very much) because as indestructible as Nokia's are (my dad took my E61i for himself and it's still in good condition despite all the throwing around i did with it..) I can't afford to do the same with my new baby..

YES ... I'd like you to meet .. Andy ... the Android..



On my brothers last trip down to Malaysia, he decided to present me with this for my 19th birthday.. :) He's a darling.. he REALLY is..

so .. i know this isn't my normal posting style.. but it was really just a quick update about everything that's been happening and stuff..

so dear reader untill next time ..
Xīnnián kuàilè, wǒ xīwàng zài tù nián nǐ hé nǐ de jiārén dài lái hǎo yùn, fēnfēn fánróng hé xìngfú.
(Translation: Happy Lunar New Year and I hope the year of the Rabbit brings you and your family luck, prosperity and happiness in abundance.)

4.08 A.M. The Power of Love.

Today, I was reminded that I mean something to someone.
It's been a while since that feeling has hit me.
That feeling of being Important, of Belonging.
Today, my opinion counted...

Babe (you know who you are), he's a sweet guy, I approve, but he's still on Probation :P


And then I came home to a parents embrace.
After 3 weeks of living alone,
I come home to a smiling parent, Next week the other one returns.
And I was reminded, that though they were away,
though I was left alone here for both Diwali and My 19Th Birthday.
I mean something to them,
I mean enough to put smiles on their faces.


Mummy & Daddy, I Missed You... Welcome Home.


Later, I received a call from the other best friend,
The one who's approximately 13,619 kilometers away.
We chatted our hearts out like the distance didn't exist.
I was again reminded of a different kind of love.

Babe, You're amazing, just wait till I get there, I'll travel 8 hours by train every fortnight to meet you if I have to.







Dear Reader I'm on a Mission.

What exactly is the Nature of My mission? That's for me to know and for you .. to find out.

I will tell you though, that I intend on completing Phase #1 of my Mission by the end of January 2011.

Until further notice,
Good Night Dear Reader.

4.07 A.M. Respect.

We give respect.. To receive in return..
Don't expect to be respected.. when you can't respect..
You are not superior.. even if you are .... SLIGHTLY famous..







You are not to question the acts of those older than us .. by generations.
You should not raise your voice ... even if they MAY or .. may not .. be wrong..
You are not superior.. even if you are .... SLIGHTLY taller.








I see you as an asshole... You're younger than I am ..
The fuck you think i'm gonna talk to you when your like a 2 faced snake!?
HAH! ... sorry I tried being nice to you and believe you were a better person.. but you my friend .. you suck ... you suck bulls balls ...
The only reason I give you any acknowledgement .. is cause your my uncle's son...











On another note... the lack of updates doesn't mean i'm dead and/or the blog is dead .. like most of my blogs tend to get .. I've just been busy..


23rd Oct .. Mom and Dad flying off to India..
24th Oct... My 19th birthday...
24th Oct... I turn 19 alone ...





Happy Birthday .... I guess...
Goodnight Dear Reader ..

4.06 A.M. Wunna Myo Aung.

Last night I put my best dress on, put on make up and prepped for a dinner at Dragon Seafood Restaurant. Near Desa Waterpark. Over dinner we broke into a convo about clubs and about places to go for KL's nightlife.. when we realized we had NEVER gone clubbing together..







so we came back to my place.. changed.. packed ourselves into the car .. and it was off to Cangkat .. walked down the block to Envee and geared up for an evening of fun .. walked in had a drink and decided the club was crap .. so we walked across the street to Havana .. had a couple of more drinks and decided we wanted to check out Zeta Bar in Hilton...








as we stepped out of Havana. I bumped into this guy wearing a blue shirt. Looked up and realized it was Rav.. an old buddy.. Caught up a lil and he dropped the worst news imaginable. Wunna Myo Aung, our very own 25 Cent (we used to tease him cause he was all ghetto and rapper like) passed away peacefully on the 5th of September 2010. The day after I hosted my 2nd TOA BBQ.. last time I saw Wunna was in 2008 during another BBQ.. The painful Irony and realization hit me. How i was too caught up with my own life, trying to fit in to places i didn't, trying to be a part of things i didn't deserve. When all the while he tried to reach out, through Facebook, through twitter, he spoke to me without addressing me. But i took no notice of his pain .. I even forgot his birthday this year...




Wunna, I know we used to tease you, call you 25 cent and messed around with jokes about your height. But bro every single one of those moments we spent together will forever dwell in my heart. I backtracked on your FB and I read your updates from way back when you first found out you had lukemia in december 09. I'm proud of you bro for being the strong lil maestro you were. and I'm inspired by you. You showed me that maybe, just maybe life may be greedy and take me away from the world someday soon. But i have to stiffen up my chin and face it like the (wo)man you inspired me to be. I apologize for not realizing. I apologize for not standing behind you like i once said i would. I apologize for never keeping in contact and always saying "i'll message him tomorrow." You meant alot to not just me but my whole family and we all miss you so very dearly. Your in a better place now lil maestro. I hope you've made new friends in Heaven. I'll remember you till i reach the pearly gates and meet you. Save me a place...


In Loving Memory of Wunna Myo Aung.
R.I.P 25 Cent/Lil Maestro.
God bless and you'll forever be in my heart.




With only 1,903,245,310 seconds to live.
Goodnight Dear Reader.