4.14 A.M. Tea Talk with The Dalai Lama.

Dear Reader,
Sometimes I see myself as a wise person..
Perhaps a little too wise for my age..
Thus may be the reason why the Dalai Lama (amongst others) is one of my Idols.

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense;
More knowledge, but less judgment;
More experts, but more problems;
More medicines, but less healthiness;
We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever but have less communication.
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall men but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It's a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room.

~ The 14th Dalai Lama

Talk about "FOOD FOR THOUGHT"

Good Night Dear Reader,
I hope you're having sweet sugary dreams.

4.13 A.M. The Last To Give Up... The First To Succeed.

Dear Reader,

I understand I don't update my blog quite as often as you probably would like,
But i'm honestly grateful that you have been ever so patient to check back for my updates or lack there of.

See, when you study at a certain Art Academy..
Your life starts revolving around it, You start hanging out with people from the Academy cause you never have enough free time to socialize much outside..
In fact, I've come to realize that at least 75% of the time people find love within campus grounds..
I suppose that makes sense doesn't it?
Cause you can lump work and personal life together..
Therefore spending time with that special him or her while chasing deadlines..
And you never have to worry about him/her complaining bout not spending time together, because he/she would naturally understand the nature of the workload students of this.. Academy.. face on a daily basis..

which can be quite the pain in the tush region...

Within the last 36 hours.. I've gone from feeling Stressed to feeling Hopeless .. somehow looping it back up to hopeful .. down to rock-bottom-my-future-is-in-jeopardy .. to shame .. again up to hopeful .. then screwed up.. then down right tired.. to I-have-to-blog-about-this..

It starts with the incredibly amazing software most Digital Animators use.. Autodesk Maya.. see while I understand how modelling a object works on maya perfectly well.. I have more than a little problem understanding how actually animating the entire thing works.. and to top it all off..

MAYA ... HATES ... ME..
so it crashes.. corrupts.. and doesn't listen to the commands i give it .. more than half the time...

Yesterday I was required to animate the movement of this tank I previously modeled on Maya..

and things didn't go the way i would have preferred it to..

sat up all night trynna tweak things...
went to class and tried fixing things there..
asked my lecturers for help (thank god they're like heaven sent angels)
managed to work my tank..
but then when i saved my work to submit it... the file conveniently corrupted itself and refused to open..

the whole time I kept thinking .. I can't do this anymore.. I give up.. but then I kept on keeping on..
I listened to a very inspiring individuals podcasts on youtube while working to keep myself going..

and then my lecturer comes up to me during class..

C: You look sad.. what's wrong?
Me: I am sad.. I suck at maya..
C: you don't suck :)
Me: I do
C: you don't..
Me: I do
C: why do you think you do?
Me: cause i can't even make my bloody tank move..
C: just try.. you gotta try :)

and then she walked away.. but was patient enough to answer EVERYTHING each silly question i asked..
both my 3D Maya Essential lecturers are amazing..

infact... most of my lecturers this sem are pretty awesome.. some painfully honest.. but hey .. honesty is teaching..

anyway i somehow managed to finish my work and was about to submit my video and Maya Binary scene file.. when the scene file corrupted.. So my submission folder lacks 1 file :(

anyway .. bottom line is i'm just so .. seriously SO glad i made it through today alive.. (trust me I had serious doubts).

Dear Reader,
A wise man told his fans throught a podcast..
The last one to give up.. will be the first to succeed..
and fate will keep throwing you curb balls to see if you have what it takes to attain success..
It's up to you to keep chugging along to achieving your dreams.
or to give up and to simply flush your dreams down the drains.

today I chose to chug along..
And god help me.. I need that will power..

Dear Reader,
untill next time,
good night..

4.12 A.M. Pretending.

This isn't normally my blogging style..
But i'm allowed to vent right?
This IS my blog after all?
I don't know where i'm headed anymore..
It honestly feels like a downward spiral to nowhere!

I keep advising people.. saying things will get better..
but I am finding it hard to convince myself to believe the same..

will I be another victim of the system?

I can't quit..
I won't quit..
I just wan't time..

Dolphin Shark or Tuna?
who am I?
Who are you Ms. 4AM Blogger?

Dear Reader..
I've reached my breaking point..

4.11 A.M. The Valentine Jerk.

Dear Reader,

I hope Valentines day was pleasant for you.
For Me .. it was just like any other day..
Started off with Life Drawing where my lecturer apologized for being hard on us (aww how can you be mad at someone for being sweet enough to apologize???)
Then went on to Photography class.. where my Photo's were all accepted .. FINALLY WOOT and we were given this new assignment to capture color in photography .. (yes DUH all photographs are in color but that's not the kind of color i'm talking about)

ANYWAY .. so what possibly could have gone wrong you ask?
what made me title this post as is?

well .. here's the story..


So after class I went across the street to the mall (yes .. the mall is across the street .. literally .. how cool is that right!?)
to check if my Canon 60D shipment was in (whom I have already named Cameron .. cute name right?) but it wasn't ...
anyway .. after that I waited for a bit at the main entrance in my usual spot waiting for my dad to come pick me up.. listening to my Mp3 player .. super massively loud like I always do.. chilling out on the stairs .. playing Angry Birds on my phone ..

but then my phone battery went flat ..
so I started people watching..

Now if you know Sunway Pyramid .. you would know there is this guy that receives people as they get out of cars .. like he's literally helped me open the car door a number of times and closed it for me before .. He's a really nice guy ..(from here on I'll refer to him a "TIM" I don't actually know his name but "TIM" should work)
but he looks like there may be something .. not right about him .. I don't mean this in a Mean way .. but he seems slightly mentally challenged in some way .. he's never caused a scene with anyone or anything.. he just is different..

So I sat there on the steps watching as this black Hyundai Santa Fe pulled up.. and out came this Caucasian man with sandy brown hair looking all nice and tanned (From here on I'll call him "THE JERK" and I genuinely thought to myself .. "oo .. eye candy" ..

Apparently he was picking someone up from the mall..
So he got out and opened the boot up for them to put their bags in..
So "TIM" as part of his job walked up to the back of the car to help "THE JERK" close it.. and all "TIM" did was touch the door..

now I don't exactly know what was said .. but trust me .. It seemed bad..

"THE JERK" pushed "TIM's" hand off the door .. and had this rude expression on his face and was like telling him these things need to be done "delicately" or something .. at least that was what I had understood from the body hand gestures...

He then just walked away .. leaving "TIM" bewildered.. got into his car and started making these rude faces at whoever was in the car and pointed at "TIM"


now at this point 2 things ran through my mind..
1) ok EW you are SOOOO not hot anymore ...

and 2) I have some fancy hand gestures to show you too Mr Jerk! .. It involves a finger..


TIM stood there for a whole minute .. as cars just dropped people off right in front of him .. which he didn't open the doors for.. and then just went M.I.A..

I mean seriously .. i cannot stand arrogant good looking ... assh*les!
YOU are not that perfect!
YOU do not have the right to treat other's that way!
YOU are not above us in any way!
seriously dude .. WTF!?

I hope someone SERIOUSLY scratched your car ..

like this huge scratch that you can't polish off ..

You will HAVE to get a paint job ..


Dear Reader,
Promise me you'll treat other people as you would wish to be treated yourself??

Goodnight Dear Reader.

4.10 A.M. A Thank You Note, A Moment of Pride and A Lesson in Ethics..

Dear Reader,
As you .. may .. or may not know.. I can sometimes have a severely slow grasp on things.. Most recently I've found myself paddling to save my life in the giant lake that is 3D Maya Essentials.
It's not that I'm completely dumb at it, I just have to be SHOWED the steps once or twice before i COMPLETELY understand.
So I really appreciate all the help I get, from everyone, seriously Thank you.. I don't think I say that enough. If you have ever helped me, directly, or indirectly Thank You.. for putting up with my endless questions :)


My first Maya Moment of Pride arrived this morning.. or .. rather yesterday morning, when I entered class and my friends asked how i had modeled my Tank Tracks, (we're supposed to model construction/army vehicles for our project). So apparently modeling Tank Tracks is incredibly temperamental... so I was keeping my tracks till the very end... I had experimented with the method (learned of course from a very good friend who was kind enough to upload a bunch of tutorial pictures for me online: Again .. Thank You!) so I did have an idea on how to get the tank tracks done right.. So i took my laptop, sat down, and explained the steps to 2 of my friends.. of course there was a Lil mistake along the way but i figured it out and explained it to my friends which made me feel a Lil smarter :D.. so yes, I take pride in knowing I'm not that dumb, and for my friends who have helped me? Do take pride in this Lil achievement too, cause you helped *winks*

OK so the next bit is going to be a Lil edgy..

Dear Waiter @ The Restaurant,
First of all, I would like to say that you, are one hell of a lucky bugger cause the restaurant you work at.. actually serves decent to good food. OTHERWISE I probably would have thrown a bitch fit and walked on right out of there. ANYWAY, the other day I walked into the restaurant wanting to buy take out lunch for my mom and I. You took my order asking how I was, cause I used to frequent the restaurant and I hadn't come by in a while..

Here's when you started pissing me off...
1) After I was nice enough to answer you, YOU tell me I'm fat.. dude .. where'd that come from? I KNOW i'm fat.. You don't have to rub it in.. would you like it if i told you that putting henna on your fingers is just GAY!? yeah .. don't think I didn't notice..

2) You go away and come back 2 minutes later .. only to say I'm fat again .. DUDE .. SERIOUSLY .. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

and then .. here's the cherry on top of it all..

3) You approach me after insulting me TWICE.. and then you say .. "Oh we got you're order's mixed up.. so um .. could you wait a while more?"

Oh yeah .. sure .. insult me then expect me to be polite AND patient with you... you're LUCKY i was tired and I just wanted to get home .. cause I swear I would've done something..

I know i'm bigger than average.. and quite honestly.. I don't wanna be this way.. but I am .. it is none of your business .. so why don't you just leave me alone?






Dear Reader.. I almost cried...

Goodnight

4.09 A.M. Confessions of A Dimwit.

So if you are an ardent follower of my blog.. you would have noticed that my blog hasn't been updated in.. Quite a while..
I have a valid reason for my blog temporarily dying this time.
It was simply because Blogspot.com stopped allowing me to log in with my username..
so .. i was dumb enough to not think of using my email address to log in instantly..
took me some time.. and a friend to ask me if i still blogged for me to retry logging in.. and what d'ya know? it worked!

So here I am, at exactly 4.18 A.M. on my first day of my Chinese New Year break..
Blogging my heart out about things that matter the most to me.

One of the few things I have to talk about is the start of my 2nd Academic year at TOA.
I have actually begun classes related to my Major this time.. which is fun.. most of it at least.. except 2 of my 6 classes that make me feel like my soul is being sucked out of my ear by a mysterious force when i'm in it..

But.. of course.. the start of my new academic year also very simply measures up to one more thing.. the death of my social calendar..

Since starting Year 2 of my 3 year diploma course I have experienced severe lack of sleep, resulting in eye bags that even make up can't aid..

Julian explained that life will get better in year 3.. IF ... I make it out of year 2 alive ... gee thanks for the note of confidence Julian.. you remind me of King Julien from Madagascar by the way.. Maybe it's just the name .. not sure .. but .. "I like to move it move it"

On OTHER interesting news.. I have officially broken the habit of slamming my phone into the ground (that lil trick gave me an A for Drama Class thank you very much) because as indestructible as Nokia's are (my dad took my E61i for himself and it's still in good condition despite all the throwing around i did with it..) I can't afford to do the same with my new baby..

YES ... I'd like you to meet .. Andy ... the Android..



On my brothers last trip down to Malaysia, he decided to present me with this for my 19th birthday.. :) He's a darling.. he REALLY is..

so .. i know this isn't my normal posting style.. but it was really just a quick update about everything that's been happening and stuff..

so dear reader untill next time ..
Xīnnián kuàilè, wǒ xīwàng zài tù nián nǐ hé nǐ de jiārén dài lái hǎo yùn, fēnfēn fánróng hé xìngfú.
(Translation: Happy Lunar New Year and I hope the year of the Rabbit brings you and your family luck, prosperity and happiness in abundance.)

4.08 A.M. The Power of Love.

Today, I was reminded that I mean something to someone.
It's been a while since that feeling has hit me.
That feeling of being Important, of Belonging.
Today, my opinion counted...

Babe (you know who you are), he's a sweet guy, I approve, but he's still on Probation :P


And then I came home to a parents embrace.
After 3 weeks of living alone,
I come home to a smiling parent, Next week the other one returns.
And I was reminded, that though they were away,
though I was left alone here for both Diwali and My 19Th Birthday.
I mean something to them,
I mean enough to put smiles on their faces.


Mummy & Daddy, I Missed You... Welcome Home.


Later, I received a call from the other best friend,
The one who's approximately 13,619 kilometers away.
We chatted our hearts out like the distance didn't exist.
I was again reminded of a different kind of love.

Babe, You're amazing, just wait till I get there, I'll travel 8 hours by train every fortnight to meet you if I have to.







Dear Reader I'm on a Mission.

What exactly is the Nature of My mission? That's for me to know and for you .. to find out.

I will tell you though, that I intend on completing Phase #1 of my Mission by the end of January 2011.

Until further notice,
Good Night Dear Reader.